Talking to mean people

Last week I blogged about an unpleasant situation that had occurred involving the child of a CNVEP employee. You may remember that the rotten child, due to "bad manners" had the audacity to yawn during class. Open mouth and everything. Naturally, the child was punished.

So what does a nonviolent, angry parent do when this happens and they want to talk to the teacher? Give empathy, of course!

This letter was written as a response to the whole nasty debacle. The names have been changed, but otherwise, this is really what was written:

Dear Ms. Meanieteacher,

I am writing you this letter regarding Badmannerkid’s “essay.” I can only imagine how hard it is to be teacher to 11 & 12 year olds. I can see why there are moments when you are pushed to use your power over them. In the past, my daughter has come with “extra” homework such as the famous essays. Essays for chewing gum, essays for talking, essays for yawning in class, and last nights essay for being back stage when it was not her turn. I can see that you hope that these essays help her reflect on her actions, but I am concerned. After reading the last essay about manners, I was upset, I was upset that my daughter was not voicing her opinions….that she was silenced. She wrote what she thought you wanted to hear because in our home we have different values and we see “manners” with such a different lens. Children are born with this longing to learn and explore the world. They love learning, but many go into schools where learning becomes a chore. Homework becomes a punishment. Essays put words together to create thoughts. She will write essays for many years to come. Writing essays can be creative and fun. In your classroom they are becoming a form of punishment… in my home they are becoming a form of punishment as well. I know that you are coming from the best intentions, that you have the need to feel accomplished at the end of the day to have order in your classroom. I don’t know what else to say, but for now I have told Badmannerkid that she doesn’t have to do this 500 word essay. We cannot find any more reasons on why she shouldn’t have been back stage. I asked her to stop writing it. She is worried that you will not let her walk on her ceremony, but I do not think that is a valid reason from keeping her off what she likes to do. I had a conversation with her and I hope that you can understand my pont of view. I am not asking her to have special treatment, nor am I trying to step on you shoes. I am just doing my job, advocating for my daughter..

Thank you for your time,

Nonviolent Angrymom